


Carolyns Fingers

by thinskinnedcalciumsipper



Category: Gravity - Fandom, Gravity Falls
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 22:41:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5603614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinskinnedcalciumsipper/pseuds/thinskinnedcalciumsipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>hey its me, stanfucker69 ive been drinking yall want some upsetting starla? HAPPY NEW YEAR</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carolyns Fingers

Stan recalls the first instant he saw her, the sight of her as clear to him as if he held it immemorialized in his two hands -- she turned around to look down at him on the ground where he hugged his brother -- her shining white dress with violets flowering all along the scalloped hem, unweaving ribbon bow, brooch of coagulated blood on her narrow brown knee -- white socks, black shoes -- a flower in her hair -- she turned around to look down at him and (pink flake of flower petal anointing her temple, freckles over her nose, the shock of her brilliantly hazel eyes, the sun singing in her curls, parting radiant light, light falling away, forming from celestial faith and starmusic her innocent smile) Stan thought in breathless, ranting astonishment she was an angel. Stan loved her instantly, intensely, desperately, devotedly. Stan loved her for the rest of his life.

"My name is Carla," she said.

His brother was clutching him, crying in his shoulder, he felt Stanfords blood under his hand but was aware of nothing beyond the boundary of Carlas dense dark curls out of which shone the sun, out of which sprung all law and reason -- her skin was like a penny, he wrote in puerile mental poetry, drinking the sight of her, drunk on her, her eyes are gold rings, wedding rings, their two wedding rings (she was made engaged to him! He'd never seen such _eyes_!) her lips are a bonbon in transparent tinsel, her cheeks are apples, her voice a Christmas bell, Carla, Carla, Carla, Carla, Carla, Carla, Carla, Carla, Carla, Carla, Carla, Carla, Carla, Carla.

"Stanley," sobbed his brother, and in perfect honesty Stan didn't even hear him.

"Are you okay?" asked Carla (amazing, unbelievable, incredible Carla! The sonnet contained in her name!) and mutely, stupidly, Stan nodded, and she laughed -- she laughed! -- and Stan would have wept with shame if her laugh was not so small, so sweet and kind -- her laugh ended his little life.

He was six years old. Carla didn't speak to him again for five years (she tread on his foot in line for ice cream and begged his pardon, he was eleven and the dimples in the downy brown above the band of her shorts kept him awake for weeks) and then again, two years later, when they milled uncomfortably together beneath a rainbow of lanterns and the indigo canopy of firmament -- his mother laughing very loud -- Carla asked him how he was and he said he was okay.

They had sex at fifteen and seventeen respectively -- Carla was older than him -- in his car parked at the graded hem of seashore -- the stars were brighter that night than they ever would be, recalls Stan, and the remote firefly shine of bonfires staggered along the beach like the one they abandoned (drunkenly stumbling through the reefs of rough salt brush, shushing each other, Carla in her sea green swimming suit and virginal skirt laughing and laughing, laughing when he scooped her up and laughing when he dared kiss her) reflected in smoldering posies in Carlas luminous cheeks, Carlas tiny white teeth when she gasped, Carlas tears, Carlas blubbering breasts Stan apologetically pet.

"Are you okay?" asked Stan, and though she cried, she nodded -- "does it hurt?" -- eyes shut she nodded -- "We should stop."

They had sex (" _real_ sex," Carla gushed, eyes wide, bright red) twenty times, generally in his car, a few frantic tittering times in sheltered alcoves at school, once on the roof of his parents house, when she whispered under the inferno of sunset she loved him which made him lose it still inside her and once -- Stan thinks of this now with a rare urgency -- once, very shortly before the last time Stan ever laid eyes in her -- once on the senior outing to some park for a picnic where with his friends he passed a beer in a root beer bottle, Stan collected the courage to lead her away by hand -- they stole together, Stan and she, Selene, Venus, Persephone, into roaring wisteria and simmering lilac, up the wooded hummock, the powerful fragrance of flowers and the briskness remaining in the air and the holy oath of her little hand in his -- together they climbed to the falls beyond the reservoir -- he held up the barbed wire boundary for her, playfully flipped her skirt -- they stood hidden in the consuming sound and hushing rush of the falls and Stan fucked her until he heard his name cried over the cacophony of infinite water and then she tucked her chin in his collar -- she was so beautiful, what a beautiful girl, he kissed her and kissed her and kissed her and kissed her -- and she told Stan it was fine to come inside because she wouldn't mind becoming pregnant.

Stan comes in his hand with a grumble, wipes it on the underpants he wears, drinks from the crinkled aluminum can he holds.

Carla, thinks Stan, might be dead. Stan is astonished to experience a sudden thrust of fresh pain (the fragrance of her hair coming up in graveflowers, worms in her wedding ring eyes, oh holy God) which he douses as well as it will with the entire can of beer.

Carla is not dead, Stan reassures himself urgently -- drunkenly he struggles to articulate his faith she exists still -- his Carla -- in the marble dome he is hidden in, her little hands in his, she will live forever, a shining child in the vault of immortal summer ensconced in the vast screaming sepulchral winter Stan resides in.

She turned around and looked down and Stan dies.

 

hey its me, stanfucker69 ive been drinking yall want some upsetting starla? HAPPY NEW YEAR


End file.
